Tell me to stop procrastinating.

At work, now in the strange limbo state of still being employed there but taking the last two weeks as holiday time, coming back into the office occassionally, and going to one last office event. So I'm not there, but still there.

It feels liberating. And damned lonely. Must be a bit like breaking up with a partner after a long relationship -- breaking up amicably enough that it's not like "Take all your stuff and get out NOW!" More of a long goodbye, your life and theirs gradually becoming less and less intertwined, but knowing that you can only play it out so long -- either there's a definite point of no return, or a point where you'll run out of excuses to keep going back. And then wondering what'll happen after that -- will you stay friends? Drift even further apart? Find that the attitudes that caused the breakup end up hardening into dogma? Maybe even get back together someday, either because you've both gained some perspective, or because you haven't?

And of course I'm not just moving from a job of several years, but from the place I've stayed for the longest continuous time except the house I grew up in. (At the same time as I'm looking for work.) That's the trickier bit. What to take, what to toss, what to sell or keep in the suite? So that's what I've been procrastinating about, and what's been producing the most anxiety.

Had a glut of anxiety dreams this morning. Interesting how they work for me. These ones featured terrifying situations, but framed in bizarrely comic contexts, and as part of some fictional stories, like in the dreams I was watching movies and making them up as I went along -- sometimes I knew the next twist, sometimes I didn't. The guy was only pretending to strangle me. Sure, a giant fish emerged from behind the door and ate someone, but it was a giant fish puppet, so the people laughed before they started screaming.

Anyway. That's enough wasting time for now. At least, enough wasting time this way. I'm sure I'll think of some other excuse.